Rhythm

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about rhythm and balance.  With the autumnal equinox rapidly approaching, I'm more aware of the balance of light and dark, of day and night, and the transition into fall.  I’ve been planning curriculum for the very limited amount of formal ‘school’ I ask from Skyler (I know, I know, I’m late!!!) and trying to find a way to fold teaching into our day -- or to fold our day around teaching -- while still enjoying these beautiful days outside.
 

Rhythm is an idea I’ve embraced since first learning about it through Waldorf education.  Rhythm is our movement through the day, repetition, the balance of in breaths & out breaths.  Of all the many wonderful things I’ve learned from Waldorf, this has been perhaps the most helpful, and not just to homeschooling, but to parenting in general.  I like thinking of our days, not in terms of schedule or structure, but in terms of rhythm.   How do we begin & end each day?  What is the pace of the day?  When do we socialize, stay outside?  When do we come in and embrace quiet?  What do our transitions look like?  Rhythm is not rigid, it’s paying attention to the flow of your day, finding the balance.
 

Beginning our day with Yoga
 

As parents, I think we all recognize those days (or weeks) when the rhythm is working.  Those days that we move through with a certain amount of ease: things get accomplished without feeling rushed; it feels like everyone’s (even mamas!) needs are getting mostly met.  We have moments to breath, enough time alone, enough time outside, enough time with others.  Perhaps even clearer are the days (or weeks, or MONTHS) when our rhythm isn’t working: when everything feels rushed but nothing really gets done, we’re all crabby, we’re too busy, too alone, or bored.   Those days when things just feel ‘off’. 

Morning work - Skyler math



Morning work - Gryffin math

 
When the boys were babies, their very clear needs dictated the rhythm of the day.  Even last year our rhythm was dictated by early risers, a need for a lot of physical activity, and Gryffin’s very important afternoon nap.  The boys were up at 5:30, leaving Skyler time to eat breakfast, get dressed, play, & still do an hour or so of mama-directed school work BEFORE we left the house @ 9:00.  We filled our morning with activities, playground time, library, science museum, adventures, and then would head home for lunch & nap – when Sky & I (both introverts) would retreat with our books to opposite ends of the house.   About once a week we would go out again after nap, but mostly that time was spent playing, doing ‘projects’, cleaning and cooking dinner.   This rhythm was easy for me to hold, Gryffin’s nap was a precious and necessary (for all of us) priority.  The balance of busy morning and quiet afternoon felt right.




Homeschool meet-up - Playing 'Capture the Flag' with 20 other homeschoolers

Then, this summer Gryffin rather abruptly outgrew his nap.  Both boys started going to bed later & sleeping later (until almost 6:30)!  We let go of any formal lessons as the weather got warmer and the rhythm of our days changed.  We started hanging out at home longer during the still cool and comfortable mornings, playing, cleaning, and cooking.  I started packing our lunches to go, and we’d leave the house around 10:30 or 11 for afternoon adventures – to Walden, the beach, the woods, or just park hopping around the neighborhood.  We would come home late – usually right before dinner – cook something fast (to not heat up the kitchen), eat and take long lukewarm baths.   This rhythm sometimes left us a little too busy to work on projects or keep the house tidy, and I have to say we welcomed those few rainy days to balance all the sun and fun. 

Lunch at home on the backporch

 Now it’s time to find a new rhythm.  The weather is changing once again – autumn brings a return to our home, to cooking, inside work, crafting and ‘school’.   But without the strong dictates of naps and weather, it’s a rhythm I will have to create – a HUGE challenge for me.   I like a certain amount (read – ‘lots’) of floating through the days.  Without structure imposed externally, I easily become un-tethered.  I will start writing here & not notice that the kids haven’t eaten in hours…until I hear them start to fall apart in the other room.   Some of the rhythm of the week is determined by activities, but the internal rhythm of our days is imposed by me, & I find this sooo challenging.  And although Skyler easily floats through the day with me, Gryffin (because of his age and who he is) desperately needs a strong rhythm to lean against.

 

Late afternoon playtime with Cousin Bea

 

Working on a project at the 'Fountain Park'

 

So I try to find the balance.  I try to make sure we have time to work on mama-imposed work AND time for the boys to create their own wonderful projects and explorations.  I try to find the right rhythm between activities and time to read and play and imagine.   I am trying to make sure that we have time to breathe and notice our breath.  That we have time to socialize, make friends, play with other children, explore being a team and time to be alone.  That built into the rhythm of our day and week and year are moments of stillness, time to honor the change of seasons, time to pay attention to the natural world, and time to recognize the sacred rhythm in ourselves. 

What does the rhythm of your day or week look like?  Do you find it changing for fall?

 

Artist's Walk

Today, after a wonderful weekend filled with family, we decided to take stay close to home.   However our getting-things-done & lounging-about-the-house plans were derailed by the presence of an extremely loud wood-chipper operating just outside our front windows.  Such is city life.  The boys enjoyed watching the action for a while, but there's really only so much grinding noise we could stand, so out the door we went.  I decided to bring the boys on an Artist's Walk -- which I'm hoping to create as a weekly ritual.  I'm looking forward to sharing the results of these walks here with you.

 

An "Artist's Walk" is a walk taken without a particular destination in mind.  Instead, the goal is to gather observations and experiences.  We record these moments by writing descriptions & phrases, by sketching, by taking pictures.  On an Artists Walk we pay attention to the tiny details, the interesting moments, we pause to look, savor, remember.  We move at Gryffin's pace.  Skyler & I pretend to be 3 again, fascinated by puddles, cracks in the sidewalks, bugs.  

On an Artists Walk I try to enter into my child-mind and hang out with my children there. When I slow down and pay attention, I begin to notice the details of what surrounds me. I become absorbed in my senses, and from that place, wonder and fascination builds. Things I would normally just walk by, show up for me in new and interesting ways.  I am inspired to look, to see, to listen, to create.

Establishing the ritual of this intentional creative practice is extremely important to me, and part of my goals for the boys and myself in this homeschooling year. Like many mamas, homeschooling or not, I can easily find myself directing all my creative energy toward my children. When they were babies, each day was a creative exercise in trying to figure out how to meet their needs & (maybe) feed myself. Or take a shower. (Seriously - the creative problem solving in trying to figure out how to wash my hair with a super attached tiny baby was all I had the energy for). Now I expend a tremendous amount of creative energy in figuring out schedules, curriculum, dinner, the balance of the day. And although mama-ing is important and enriching work, it doesn't always fill my need for creative self-expression. Because really, I can't express myself through my children. I help them express themselves. And where does that leave me?

Well, it leaves me taking pictures with my children on this lovely fall-like day, while we talk about what images strike us as beautiful or interesting, while we find the richest, most expressive adjectives we can to describe what we see and hear and feel.   I watch them role down a grassy hill and stop for acrobatics.  We laugh at Gryffin running in circles while Skyler tries to snap his picture.  I am surprised by Gryffin's interest in urban objects and wild camera angles.   I am inspired, not only by what I find on our walk today, but by my children's explorations.  Together, we find our creative voices and I find myself renewed.  

SKYLER'S PICTURES

 

GRYFFIN'S PICTURES

 
I'm so impressed by their photos, I am bursting with mama-pride!  I am inspired.

This Morning

This morning I am sitting on the screen porch in an old, white wicker rocking chair. I am pretending to read, but instead find myself putting the book down to gaze at the clouds rising out of the pines. 


It rained all day yesterday & last night, and I can hear the increased volume of water in the sound of the river. I hear the summer song of cicadas, the string accent of crickets. Even though it’s 8:15, the world doesn’t seem quite awake yet, still wrapped in a blanket of mist.  


I grab my camera and set off on a morning walk, alone. Here are some of the photos I took along the way, without a single picture of the boys (shocking!), but instead a few pieces of the quiet awakening world.

 "How can you explain that you need to know that the trees are still there, and the hills and the sky? Anyone knows they are. How can you say it is time your pulse responded to another rhythm, the rhythm of the day and the season instead of the hour and the minute? No, you cannot explain. So you walk."

 ~Author unknown, from New York Times editorial, "The Walk," 25 October 1967